How to Show up for Yourself and Create Self Discipline
3 min read
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
How self-betrayal affects our inner credibility to keep promises to ourselves and develop disciplined habits that serve us
Why showing up for yourself matters and how keeping self promises slowly changes our inner beliefs and improves your life
What practical steps can you take to start building small daily promises
Our ability to show up for the habits that serve us is crucial for personal growth. I’ve learned in my journey that trying out and keeping small daily promises is one of the most powerful ways to develop consistent discipline and in turn amazing results in whatever area of personal growth you’re working on. Let me share my experiences with you.
THE FIRST STEPS OF MY JOURNEY
My journey into self-discipline started almost 10 years ago when I had a nagging feeling in my soul that I wasn’t living in a way that was aligned with my true self. I was unhappy with my daily habits and lack of discipline. My poor work ethic meant I avoided difficult pursuits that were outside my comfort zone physically and mentally.
One of the first steps I took was hiring a personal trainer to develop a customized workout and nutrition plan. It ended up being one of the best decisions of my life because it was the first time I felt accountable to start showing up for the habits I knew served me everyday, even when the familiar resistance would come and I didn’t feel like it.
I then started looking within myself, wanting to become more aware of the patterns (thoughts, emotions, and behaviours) that were dictating my other behaviour and daily habits. Why was it so hard to consistently show up and stay disciplined, especially when I did not have anyone else keeping me accountable?
ELIMINATING SELF-BETRAYAL
What I learned along my journey was that practicing showing up for myself and keeping small daily promises changed my beliefs and daily habits.
Dr. Nicole Lepara, psychologist & author of How To Do The Work, explains that many people in our society have been conditioned to self betray themselves since childhood and this creates many dysfunctional behaviour patterns and habits that do not serve us. We betray our true needs and desires because it’s a coping mechanism we learn from childhood and we’re taught we must act a certain way in order to be validated and loved by parents, coaches, friends and other people in our community. This self-betrayal becomes a habit that carries into our lives in different ways. We forget how to show up for ourselves and do the things we truly want to do such as meditate daily, work out, or eat healthy.
“Start with a promise that’s so small it’s seemingly insignificant.”
In an Instagram post, Dr Lepera shares how to break these patterns of self betrayal. One strategy is to “start with a promise that’s so small it’s seemingly insignificant.” She also says that “We tend to overload ourselves with things we want to do, then the mind gives us MASSIVE amounts of resistance, and we quit — diving into deep cycles of shame.”
By slowly making and keeping small daily promises we start to retrain our minds to keep our word and show up for the habits we want to instill that serve us and help us grow.
EXAMPLES OF SMALL DAILY PROMISES
Here are 5 examples of small promises you can start with today. You’ll notice that the formula I use is: BEHAVIOR + TIME:
Meditate for 5 minutes
Journal for 5 minutes
Go for a 10 minute walk
Stretch for 5 minutes
Do 3 minutes of breathwork
GET STARTED WITH SMALL DAILY PROMISES
To start this work, I suggest identifying one small promise/habit you want to keep everyday and track it for at least 3 weeks. Making too many changes at once will be overwhelming, trust me. Keep it simple and focused. Once you have no trouble keeping that promise everyday, add another one or increase the length/difficulty of the first promise.
Starting new habits and creating self-discipline can be very challenging at first and it’s very common for people to give up when it gets difficult because our mind is often used to the habitual pattern of self-betrayal and resisting change. By simplifying your approach and starting with small realistic and achievable daily promises, you can start to train your mind and body to get out of its usual comfort zone and instill a new habitual pattern of showing up for yourself and start to build the healthy habits and lifestyle you desire and deserve.
MAIN TAKEAWAYS
Many of us have been conditioned to self betray ourselves since childhood, which creates bad habit patterns of giving up on new habits and self discipline
By slowly making and keeping small daily promises we start to retrain our minds to keep our word and show up for the habits we want to instill that serve us and help us grow.
To start taking action, try identifying one daily promise you want to keep for yourself and track it for 3 weeks before adding a new one or increasing the length/ difficulty of it
